Do you recognise the signs of an unhealthy relationship?
You’re worried about your relationship. Do not ignore the signs. This quiz could help you recognise the signs.

How to take this quiz: We don’t want to store any information about you, so get some note taking tools handy. This could be pen and paper or digital note taking tools. Note down a score for each question below. The more points you get, the more worrying and extreme the behaviour you have seen could be. Keep in mind that what might be healthy for one couple, could be completely unhealthy for another.

When you are ready, begin by answering the following questions:::
Do they ever force you to do something, change something or say something you usually wouldn’t?
(eg. things like forcing you to order a certain dish in a restaurant, change your outfit, perform a sexual act you might not be comfortable with.)

0 - No, they never try to influence me.      
1 - They help me expand upon myself and develop.      
2 - They usually give me advice on what they’d do.      
3 - They often tell me  what to do or how to act.      
4 - I usually do as they please. It is easier than arguing or trying to disagree.      
Do you rely on your partner to get through the day? Or some part of it?
0 - No, we can be completely independent.
1 - We check in a couple times a day.
2 - I like them being there most of the time.
3 - Sometimes I need them to function.
4 - I need them to be there to function all the time.

Has your partner ever been dishonest with you?

0 - No, never.
1 - To protect me.
2 - I get the feeling they might.
3 - Yes they have sometimes.
4 - They regularly lie and bend the truth.

Has your partner ever used your own emotions against you?
0 - No, never.
1 - They’ve said stuff in the past, but have moved on.
2 - They sometimes get upset or mad if I am feeling a certain way.
3 - I feel like I have to hide my emotions to avoid upsetting them.
4 - Yes, any emotion is turned into a weapon.
Do you get blamed or made to feel at fault for events or occurrences in their life?
0 - No, never.
1 - They hint at it.
2 - Sometimes they won’t accept that they or others might be at fault.
3 - I can get blamed for some things.
4 - Anything that goes wrong is always my fault.

 
Does your partner ever create a hostile and uncomfortable environment?
0 - No, they’re always pleasant to be around.
1 - Maybe a little in extreme events.
2 - They can if they get a little mad.
3 - Only when they’re alone with me.
4 - They can turn anything into an uncomfortable environment, especially with my friends.

Does your partner ever try to intimidate you or make you feel small?
0 - Never.
1 - Maybe once or twice.
2 - They have done this in the past.
3 - They can do this.
4 - Very regularly they act this way.

 
Do they ever stop you from seeing your friends?
(This doesn’t include pre-existing conflicting plans eg. you have a date planned and your friends want to go to a party.)

0 - No they never do. They might even be friends with them.
1 - Not really. Maybe once or twice, but it was still up to me.
2 - Sometimes, if they have a reason.
3 - A couple of  times.
4 - It can be expected, it usually happens.

Does your partner try to alter or change your opinion or behaviour if they disagree with it?

0 - Never, they respect that I’m my own person.
1 - They are vocal about their opinion.
2 - Sometimes they can try in more extreme situations.
3 - They get mad if I disagree.
4 - Yes they regularly do.

Does your partner ever use physical violence in any way?
0 - Never.
1 - They can get angry but never violent.
2 - Sometimes they can get a little more physical.
3 - In certain situations they can get violent (eg. if they get drunk)
4 - Yes

When you have completed the quiz, note the scores you have put down.
Do you see any signs that you might want support with?

If you mark down a 4  for any question this could be a SIGN

These questions are designed to be helpful and informative. If you feel concerned you can reach out to our range of support services:

Falmouth University Students: https://falmouth.myday.cloud/pages/student-support/mentalhealth
Exeter University Students: https://fxplus.ac.uk/student-support/support-wellbeing

Rape or Sexual Assault.
We know it can be difficult to report rape or sexual assault. You may be experiencing a mixture of emotions and feel unsure about what to do next. We understand that there are lots of reasons people choose not to report, and it's always your choice. You can find out more about what to do if you experience sexual assault or violence here.

Do Not Ignore the Signs © 2023 by Safer Cornwall in partnership with Falmouth University (Theo Nicholas Gaimster) is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0.